How to be a tourist that the locals won’t want to run over.

26 Aug

I mean tourists no harm.  We need you. You help our local economy.  I want tourists to come, and enjoy the beauty around us.

But here’s the thing:

There is such a thing as a tourist being so cool, that we locals find you adorable.  We want to invite you in our homes and feed you.  We want to share beers with you at our favourite pub.  We want to share our heritage with you, and make you fall in love with our town so you’ll want to find a real estate agent.  We want to exchange e-mail addresses with you.  We want to show you our appreciation that, with all the places in the world, you chose to spend your vacation and your money at our shops, eating our local fare.

I mean, we love you guys!

And then there are the tourists that we want to run over with our cars.  We want to yell at you.  We want to say, “See those strange lines in the road?  Yeah, those. We call those ‘cross walks’.  You don’t have them in Quebec?  Well we do.  Kindly use them, especially when you go at a snails pace, and when we’re trying to teach our children not to be so stupid.  See, when you do that, I want to run you over to prove to my children why you shouldn’t do it.”

Those are the tourists that decide, instead of parking and walking and enjoying our architecture and our lovely houses, they drive, super, super slow.   They’re the ones that think that us town folk are paid to reenact life in a small community.  You know, to be super quaint and nice, with no other jobs to do.  We’re just faking having to go to the grocery store to feed our family.  So, no, by all means, take all the spaces in the grocery store.  I’ll park up the street and walk with 5 bags of food.

I always think, that when you’re a tourist, the good kind of tourist I mean, you follow the, When in Rome do as the Romans do philosophy.  So, we let people in the line of traffic after a billion cars go by, because we know that, they may have to get to work.  We walk a little briskly when crossing the street because people are waiting for us.  We say hi to each other generally, because, in a small town, you likely know everyone, and if you don’t know them, you probably know their cousin, or dated their brother, so we just say hi.  So sometimes, we when say hi to a tourist by mistake, it’s perfectly ok to say hi back.  We are not going to mug you.  This is not a test.  Hi is not that hard to say.

We need each other.  We need you to come and give our local businesses a boost, and you need us to pay taxes for those roads you drive so slowly on, for police to keep thugs away, and to keep the pub going until you get here.  We can coexist when we show appreciation for each other!

Please, enjoy our town as we do.  We hope you love it.  Just follow some common courtesies, and no one will get hurt.  We might even become friends, and one day, I may return the favor and become a tourist in your town.

I promise to be the good kind.


2 Responses to “How to be a tourist that the locals won’t want to run over.”

  1. Margi August 29, 2012 at 2:52 am #


    • Wanda August 29, 2012 at 5:15 pm #

      Double Amen!!

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