Take care of one another.

27 Jan

I’ve changed the way I think about funerals.  I mean, no one loves going to funerals, but since dad died, I realize their importance.

At dads service, it was no surprise to find Jen in the kitchen helping me and my sister.  It was no surprise to hear from Nad, wishing she were home.  But I was surprised when I saw my friends, Mary Ann and Joe, and my neighbours, the Zinck’s, my old knitting group, and to see a mini-van full of hockey moms pull up.  Those were all surprising things that warmed my heart.

Sometimes surprises at funerals are distractions from grief.

So when Jen called me on Wednesday night to tell me that our high school friends mother died, we knew we’d go.

I hadn’t seen Dwight in at least 15 years, maybe 20.  Dwight was…one of a kind.  Just like us girls, Dwight and the boys stayed friends for their whole lives.  Those guys were always really great.  Boyfriends would come and go, but these guys, they were always there watching out for us.

We were lucky, you know, to have a crew of guys like them in our lives.

And now I was at Dwight’s mother, Carol’s service.  Not  a lot had changed, and then everything had changed.  Instead of standing in the front lobby at Park View, we’re in the reception room at the Catholic Church.  We have mortgages  to pay instead of our dad’s gas tank to fill.  Most of us have kids counting on us, when back then, we thought only of ourselves.  We couldn’t imagine life at 35, now we can barely remember what it was like to be a teenager.

Now, we’re coming to terms with the fact that our parents won’t live forever instead of back then, when we wished they’d just leave us the hell alone and stop getting up in our business.

Yes, things indeed have changed.  But one constant remains: We need people in our lives.  It’s the one thing that I really, really want my boys to remember and never forget: People will remember how you treated them.  And as my father wrote in his own words to be read after he died: Take care of one another.


One Response to “Take care of one another.”

  1. Pam January 27, 2012 at 2:43 pm #

    I didn’t know Dwight’s mom passes away. Thank you for letting us know.

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